One Hand On My Joystick

Comicbook Confessions: Green Lantern #57 Uncut

2010-09-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

I will have an article transcribing (and heavily editing the content of) our debate of GL #57 on the Comixology blog, but if you want to see Comixology behind the scenes, take a look at this. It's obvious we take our jobs VERY seriously.

Cap and Iron Man...TOGETHER?

2010-09-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Young Avengers #1.

Workplace Relations

2010-09-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

This is what happened at work one day.

I walked in on Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Superman in flagrante delicto.

But Hal's boyfriend Captain America walked in and boy was he mad! Just look at that disapproving stare. Tsk tsk.

Special Face of the Week!

2010-06-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

Reading as many books as I do, I can't help but notice that sometimes, no matter how good the artist is, there are some characters who look just a little...special.

So after all this time, I've amassed a collection of snapshots from different books where beloved characters look like they should maybe have a telethon run for their benefit. And thusly do I begin sharing these with you:

^{"Girl pretty!"}

Here, we have Steve Rogers from NEW AVENGERS vol. 1 #3, sporting a look that's a little TOO down home American. In addition to his shield, David Finch must be thinking that Steve Rogers would be even safer with a helmet. Truly this is a Captain America that would be on the level with Bush.

God Bless America!

Brand New Rant

2010-04-19T12:38:00.000-07:00

^{If the marriage is a sham, does that make the cake a lie?}

Come, sit with me and have a cup of Joe. Oh, that bitter taste.

In an IGN interview with Joe Quesada during C2E2, he reveals what the mysterious "O.M.I.T." ads stand for: the newest Spider-Man arc taking place in #637-640, "One Moment in Time."

This arc will reveal all the gritty details on what went down when Peter and Mary struck their uncharacteristic deal with ol' 'Phisty to save Aunt May from death's door (even though she specifically said not to).

According to Joe, we are going to find out what happened, what didn't happen, what won't happen, and what will never happen again. We will get the answers we've been expecting to get, especially whether or not MJ knows and what she whispered to him that fateful day (or night, it was dark if I recall).

Also, the ongoing tease of the mindwipe and why Peter seems to know about it will finally be put to rest. But to begin explaining this, Joe had this to say:

"I think people have preconceived notion that Mephisto just waved his hand and magically changed everything in Peter's world and the entire Marvel Universe."

Some of you may Joe Quesada's famous words explaining the mindwipe and the rest, reiterated in this Newsarama article, saying "It's magic. We don't need to explain it."

So...wait. Was it magic, or wasn't it? Is he retconning his own retcon?! Too trippy.

All I know is, if they kill MJ, I'm officially done with Spider-Man. 'Nuff said.

The True Blackest Night....

2010-03-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

...is me not getting this! Only available at WonderCon....nnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhh.....GET IT FOR ME IF YOU'RE IN SAN FRAN!

Favorite Thing of the Day

2010-03-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

Just had to post this so we could always remember what Velociraptors have done for us.

See more stalking here!

Lego Potpourri

2009-11-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

^{Lego Old David Bowie: As plastic in real life as he is in Lego Rock Band.}

Here's a short Lego mish-mash of the Lego things I've been Lego playing.

LEGO ROCK BAND

For all of you people who love Rock Band and Lego "insert popular movie franchise here," this is a game that you may love/enjoy mildly.

Here's the low-down: it's Rock Band, but with Legos. You don't get online play.

There's the good and the bad of it. The interface itself is kinda meh, not the most intuitive selecting systems. Though, contrary to my original expectations, it actually made play Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" not only NOT lame, but just about the cutest thing in gaming this year.

If you liked Lego Star Wars/Indiana Jones for it's aesthetics (and of course like Rock Band), the $50 price tag is totally worth it. Otherwise, it's a $50 track pack of 35 songs that you'd probably love and 10 you'll feel meh about. But when the love outweighs the meh, it's $50 worth spending.

Also, the made up Lego universe factoids, totally worth it.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii
I only just got it yesterday, but have played with and without people.

I think Jesus said "A man cannot live on just Mario alone." So they put Luigi, Toad, and Meriweather von Doodingdong (aka my made up name for the other Toad) as his worthy companions in the game.

Playing alone, it's a pretty tough Mario game, which, compared to how EASY New Mario Bros. DS was, I welcome.

However, playing with 4 people is totally frantic and fun. I played the whole "part of the team" thing for a while, until I decided to be the saboteur, and pretending I was working for the Koopalings, began throwing my cohorts into the bottomless pits.

So far, it appeals not only to my heroic side, but also my unstable evil side.

But it's friggin hard. I have a lot of game to look forward to. It took me 20 minutes for 1 level, and it was in the 2nd world. Now THAT's a Mario game.

We're the Kids In Mushroom Kingdom (Woah!)

2009-10-27T17:28:00.001-07:00

^{Roy, Larry, Lemmy, Ludwig von, Iggy, Wendy O., and Morton Koopa Jr.}
Everyone stop what you're doing right now. RIGHT NOW. Now sit down. I have major news.

The Koopa Kids (or Koopalings if you're nasty) are going to be in the critically acclaimed New Super Mario Bros. Wii. I say critically acclaimed, all the best Mario games have had the Koopa Kids in it. Therefore, this will be one of the best Mario games of all time. OF ALL TIME!

Maybe bringing them back in such a big game means that they're back for good. Or maybe we'll find out their mom got custody of them and we'll be fighting Mrs. Koopa! Holy crap!

Whatever the case, this is now a must buy game. Period. I support the Koopalings, and so should you!

Say it with me: I AM A KOOPA KID!

Review: Scribble-NOTS

2009-10-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

^{Getting a star from a tree: The story of a retard, only on Lifetime.}
Hi. Remember me?
Yeah...crazy times...but here I am. I did a couple of posts, but then I found out that I wasn't updating at all, but throwing cats at my computer. Eh, misunderstanding happen.

ANYWHO

Where were we? Ah yes. I have been playing games this whole time, don't you worry. Now let me tell you the story of my experience with Scribblenauts -or- How I reLearned to Stop Jubilating and Not Believe in Hype.

Once, long ago, I learned that a game that was hyped up by advertisements, games journalists, magazines, etc., was always going to disappoint come launch date. Not just disappoint the masses, but me more than anyone. Even GTA was a constant disappointment (sorry, it just wasn't my bag, baby.)

Then, finally, the one (read: the Neo) of hyped games came out that turned my life around. Batman: Arkham Asylum came to me in my weakest moment and gave new life to me (and if you know what I was going through at that time, you know that there is probably WAY too much truth to that). With my shiny happy new outlook on the world of big videogaming, my giant burning all-seeing eye was set on one game in particular...SCRIBBLENAUTS!

Oh, how the joyous praises of the game were sung. You could WRITE ANYTHING and it would magically appear in the game! Never has this been done! You could pit God and Einstein against eachother and throw a kraken in there for good measure. Truly, this would be a wonder of wonders. And, even as a surprise move to myself, I reserved the game at Gamestop...I really wanted that hat, retarded rooster or not.

That's when a dark cloud appeared over my kingdom. Tragedy struck as I was delayed a day in the extraction of my game from the lair of the Gamestop goblins. A day late, I arrived to find that my hat had already been lost to the masses (even though I reserved the game and they should have gotten 1 hat per..limited quantities my ass).
Scarred, but not thwarted, I triumphantly took my game home. Upon my arrival I unsheathed the great wonder from the Gordian Plastic (there's a refernce for you) and proceeded to fight all manner of beast and brute, collecting shining gold emblems along the way.

And then the game that claimed to be only limited by imagination showed it's limits in logic and eventually, imagination.

The game was so great at first. Then suddenly I found that things that had some similarities were repeated items (i.e., medicine, potion, poison, etc; republican, businessman, democrat, etc.). I came to a challenge where I was to fight through evil knights, so I donned armor and a shield and sword, which in fighting knights, should keep you from dying so quickly. Or donning a bullet-proof vest when tying to stop an armed robbery...such is not the case. In the end I had a t-rex come and take care of them for me, which sounds fun right?

That's when the pattern sets in. When the super fun way and creative ways you come up with to solve a puzzle don't work, you end up using the same things over and over and over and over again, and it gets old. For me it always ended in "wings", "rope", "glue", "grapple", or in heavy duty cases, "helicopter". Also, things don't interact correctly...where a large (and it's huge) steel box should hold your weight to climb a rope from, nope. It falls on you the same way a small wooden box would. Also, people don't eat or grab things you give them a lot of the time, when it seems that they should. If I shove a donut in your face, you damn well better eat it.

Then came the saddest realization of all; my avatar wasn't some cool avant garde hipster in a rooster hat; he was a retard who lost his way from home. It's not just the fact that he was having trouble helping people in your neighborhoods with mundane tasks, nor was it the hat. It was the fact that 3 out of 5 times the object I would select wouldn't be selected; rather, it would be a simple tap that would sent my little buddy laughing and running off a cliff into a pit of spikes or lava. Every single time, with that smile on his face, he'd run haphazardly to his doom or push a button that would blow something up.

I would have actually grown an attachment to him were it not that he was always dying.

(Random interjection: I mean come on! Even a flying, invulnerable SUPERHERO can't stand up a robber with a police baton. Jeez!)

With my head hung low, I realized that Scribblenauts made me do two things that I swore never to do before and never to do again: Preorder a game at Gamestop, and trade in a game at gamestop.

With my trade in Gamespot bucks, and a reinstated appreciation for the underhyped, I bought the game that I should have gotten in the first place: Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.

And we lived happily ever after.

The End

A Haiku

2009-01-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

After few updates
Regaining cred this week on
JustinPlusOne.com

Cog in the Machine

2008-11-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

^{Gears of War: Wii Edition}
Since I've made the jump to HD with my XBOX 360, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with all the good games....that were shooters. There can be too much of a good thing.

So I took a break from them to play some happier, lighter games. A few months later, I'm reading about Gears of War 2, and feel my trigger finger itching.
But wait! I hadn't played the first one yet!

Now, you may not believe this, but I'm an avid videogame player. And like many things, I like playing games because I'm GOOD at them. Shooters, however, I'm not super great at.

I'm bad enough at shooters that I am the one who plays them mostly melee. Which you aren't really supposed to do in most. In any case, I picked up the first game. It looks amazing.

Now if I could only beat the first act.

Because of my pride, I refuse to play it on anything but hardcore. I'm getting better, but damnit, I've never spent so much time DYING.

Well, except when I'm without my games. Then I die every day on the inside.

Warcraft of Words

2008-10-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

Since I can remember, I have never had a great computer for playing games. So, I missed out on PC games. Sure, I played it off like I didn't care, but on those boring grocery shopping nights, my mom would reward me with a magazine. When I graduated from Highlights, I started picking out gaming magazines, and every so often, PC specific 'zines.
I read through them enviously, while my friends playd the likes of Diablo, Descent, Grim Fandango, and the like. I would never admit to my friend, while salivatiously watching my friend play Monkey Island 3, that is was any better than "Just alright, but no Super Mario 64."

Now, at 23, I was given, so graciously, a machine of high enough specs to run enough games to keep me occupied...well, perhaps forever.

I've accured a modest library of games. Steam has mostly been my main conduit for game gathering, playing mainly the Source shooters. They changed my life, really.

But the one game that I keep coming back to without remorse (anymore) is a little game called World of Warcraft.

I say anymore, because since 2004, I've poo-pooed the WoW world. Looking at it, I was like, ehhhhh, it looks like a fantasy RPG, blehhhhh. And then the addiction rumors started up. As a gaming junkie, I'm always looking for a new habit (j/k). I've never come across many games (that weren't puzzle games) that I'd get addicted to.

When I got the PC, my roomate would come in every day and tell me to download the trial. So I did. It was like opening up Pandora's Box. A Pandora's Box of cake where all the cake flew out and into my mouth.

Addiction comes not just from the drug, but from the being around people on said stimulant. An MMORPG, by definition, is just that sort of addictiveness.

As I play, I'll give my full report when I get 2 characters close to lvl 60.

(Also, I'm Jalsbarr on the Vashj PVP server and Ulala on the Sisters of Elune RP server)

Hello Brave New Words

2008-09-22T14:56:00.000-07:00

Greetings and re-salutations.

After a long hiatus, I'm coming back to do some of my stuff. I've taken a lot of time for school and other things, and now, I've saved some money, and can now talk about XBox 360 and PC games! Now if I can figure out to earn more time to play them...

I'll be giving more updates later. For now...well, I gotta play some games!

Hot Who Gente

2007-11-20T22:46:00.000-08:00

The person you see before you is David Tennant. Now you may be asking yourself, "Why, Jacob, who is David Tennant?

WHO indeed?

No, I mean, indeed, he is Who.
Doctor Who.

If you ask anybody, even nerds and geeks, if they have ever seen an episode of Doctor Who, the answer you can expect is no. Unless they are over 35. That seems to warrant an abundance of yeses. But I would have been included in the noes, until now.

I saw a commercial for it on BBC America when I was catching my new favorite sketch comedy show, Little Britain. And there, just staring at me through the TV set, was David Tennant. The most beautiful man I'd ever lain eyes on. So obviously I watched the show. I was sold.
And guess what...it's not bad. In fact, it's good! Except for the really crappy CGI. It looks too fake. I'd prefer some rubber suits, honestly.

Also, another BBC sci-fi show I haven't checked out but I wanna see it after hearing about the character, Torchwood. The character in question, Jack Harkness (played by John Barrowman), is an ex con man.
Interested yet? Neither am I.

No, what makes him worth it, is the fact that in the commercial for it, he was KISSING A MAN.
After a little research, this character is FROM Doctor Who, and is openly bisexual. So it was a REAL kiss, not a fake one! AND he's hot, too.

But he's no David Tennant.

*sighhhhhh*

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Mario Galaxy

2007-11-12T18:51:00.000-08:00

_{"I'm Jacob Weatherman, and I approve this picture"}

Upon my departure from very quaint housewarming party, I made a detour from home to the fabulous Nintendo World, place of wonder. And as many gamers in NY were aware of, they were having a launch party for SUPER MARIO GALAXY.

Long story short, it was lame (they played LaBouche?). And I had to wait an hour, even though I did reserve it.

Now, what really made it worth it was the swag. The button, the shirt, and the commemorative coin.

Wait....no. What made it worth it when I got home was the sheer AWESOMENESS of the game. It is an astoundingly great game. It feels like Mario, rather than Mario plugged into some game he doesn't belong. The levels are huge and fun to explore. Each "galaxy", as they are called, feels so unique. They take a lot of elements from Super Mario 64, which works so well, as it was such a benchmark in the world of platforming, and Galaxy feels like it's a true "sequel" to it. The graphics, the physics, the gameplay, it's ALL worth the hype it's been getting.

And then there's the Rainbow Mario power-up you get. I always knew when he was REALLY in a bind, he'd come over to our side. He just couldn't resist the power forever.......

Shock and Awe(someness)

2007-10-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

^{Everyone looks better when they shoot with MySpace angles.}

Wow. As much as I really FELT it coming, I still cannot believe it. Smash Bros. Dojo has now made offical that Sonic the Hedgehog, indigenous of Sega of America (well, literally hedgehogs cannot be found naturally in the US) is now a playable character. This is just further proof that the apocalypse is upon us, which pushes this game so far up the top of my "to get" list it's impossible to reach even by climbing a piranha vine or using a P Wing.

But with this news of biblical proportions comes something very disappointing. According to Dojo, if you haven't seen it, the release date has currently been changed from Dec. 3 to TBA. This comes as a blow from Nintendo, proving more that Miyamoto-san giveth, and Miyamoto-san taketh away. The Japanese version is delayed until Dec 24th, now, meaning that TBA will hopfully only be a month. But if this current generation of console gaming has shown, delays run rampant throughout the lands, and they are large, fearsome, and a fuckin cock tease.

The New Seasons of Lurve

2007-10-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

^{A premise so easy, even a caveman could do it.}

As a new school semester begins, so does a season of new distractions. Take for instance the new fall TV lineup!

Now I'm not one to watch a WHOLE lot of television *cough*, but I did take the time to watch a few shows that started this season. And I took in a wide range (mostly cause my friends made me). I suppose I'll turn this into a few parts blog, so ;et's start alphabetically, with ABC.

Private Practice

Ok. I'm just mentioning this show so I can get it out of the way. This show is a classic spin off....stupid and insulting to fans of the show it spun off from (Frasier is the exception to this). Not only is the show too much in terms of incredibly unbelievable medical emergencies (FOR A PRIVATE PRACTICE!), but it sounds like it's written by guys going through puberty: they had to have said sperm about 20 times in the episode (and not in a professional doctory way), not to mention the fact that Tim Daly's character keeps making fun of the fact that Addison kissed him. How juvenile.

VERDICT: Change the channel, stat!

DirtySexyMoney

When you get someone like Donald Sutherland on a show, frankly, I don't know what to think. The guy's done some pretty awful stuff (Buffy) and some pretty amazing stuff (Buffy). But when you throw in Peter Krause, you can be sure the show is going to be ....interesting. Everything about the premier was completely over the top, but in the best of ways. You have a guy who's a lawyer for a exceedingly rich family who deal in nothing but extravagant situations. One son is a drunk, another is a clergyman with a secret son, another is a future senator who sleeps with Candice Cane (a NYC drag queen). And the father (Sutherland) who loves them but loves his friend's son more (Krause). Oh, and one of the family members killed Krause's father.

VERDICT: Dirty: yes. Sexy: definitely. Money: Oh, it's there. It really has it all.

Cavemen

Hasn't premiered yet. I can already tell you that this is going to be awful, but I think I'm going to check it out anyway, as I am a slave to good advertising.

VERDICT: (Coming in the edit)

Yo Gabba Gabba Hey!

2007-09-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

^{DO NOT WATCH IF YOU HAVE A WEAK CONSTITUTION!}

I've been out for a while, yes, I know. But I've been trapped in a horrible world full of books and bad lunches.
School has started for me once again. (Dun dun DUHHHHHHHHHHHHN)

But as I have mostly afternoon and night classes, I've been spending a lot of time in the morning watching this wonderful new kids show, Yo Gabba Gabba.
Oh, and by wonderful, I mean magnificient and horrifying. All who watch it shall love it and despair.

In all actuality, the show is like a Teletubbies that actually TEACHES you things. And it quite possible has the GREATEST music production of any show, ever. (If you catch the episode with Elijah, the "Kitty Is My Friend" song is something to watch for...I think They Might Be Giants sing it.) They also bring slightly obscure music stars on, such as the Aquabats. And I say slightly, cause I know them quite well and most times people will ask "Don't they live in the caves of Nicaragua?"

Right now I'm playing:METROID PRIME 3

Jako Malfoy

2007-07-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

_{Avada Kedavra to all spoiler trolls.}
So even though I haven't been on the Harry Potter bandwagon since the beginning, I've learned to love the franchise. After the first 2 movies (which made Chris Columbus a more known name and set up my hatred for me), I still wasn't buying the whole Harry Potter thing. I was strictly a Lord of the Rings fanatic. But one good boyfriend and a new director later, The Prisoner of Azkaban turned out to be a great movie, and was the fertilizer for the seed in my head planted by all the buzz surrounding Mr. Potter.

And here I am now, finally reading all the books (I'm on book 4 right now), but that hasn't stopped me from getting the DELUXE version of Deathly Hallows.

Oh, and dressing up for a Harry Potter party.

And remember people....NO SPOILERS. I swear on a stack of Tolkein books that I will give a kick in the face to anyone who says ONE word on any spoilings of the 7th book. I saw someone yell something to someone in a line at Barnes and Noble and then they almost got hit by a car that swerved onto the sidewalk upon hearing the spoiler.
They're that serious.

Signs of the Apocalypse

2007-07-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm scared. Really. Those guys that you see with signs that say "The End is Near" might be right.
I know this, for I have seen one of the signs...the trailer for "Bejing 2008: Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games."

Now, if someone could tell me why Mario can match speed with Sonic, please do. Did Mario get struck by lighting while working around some volitile chemicals? Or is this going to be like Super Mario Bros. 2, where it turned out to be a dream he had while overdosing on Mushrooms?

A Moments Reprieve

2007-06-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

_{If you wannabe my gamer...I'm not going to finish that.}

I'm going to take a step away from videogames and comics and tell you how happy I am that the Spice Girls are going to get back together.

The day I told people about my love for them was the day before Geri left. Seriously. I was in the closet for so long about it. Spicing up my life was something I did in my room, behind closed doors.

Now, it's no surprise I love them. I OWN Spice World. One hella awesome movie if you ask me.
And I should know. I'm a film major.

History in a Flash (Not Really)

2007-06-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

Oh, DC. How could you do it again? The Flash, the Scarlet Speedster, you took him away from me.

In my top "5 list of Superheroes", the Flash exists on a golden pedestal (just below Raven but above Ch'p). As you may or may not know, however, there have been 4 incarnations of the Flash.
First was Jay Garrick: he existed on Earth 2 (when there was an Earth 2 to live on), and he wore a helmet that gave him the power to run, and run fast. He helped to found the Justice Society after WWII and is now old.

Then came Barry Allen. Barry Allen was the first to wear the speed suit. After gaining his powers from a mixture of chemicals and lightning, he gained the ability to also dash at speeds man couldn't reach. The suit protected him from harming himself from his powers, as it was made from the source of his power: the Speed Force. He was one of the first members of the Justice League and was everyone's best friend. When his nephew, Wally West, came to visit, he was also exposed to chemicals and lightning, and gained the SAME powers (later it was found out that the Speed Force CHOSE who it gave the power of speed to) and became Kid Flash and joined the Teen Titans. The one catch for Wally, though, was that his powers were killing him.

Tragedy struck with the Crisis on Infinite Earths. This brought everyone from all Earths together against the Anit-Monitor, who was going to obliterate the Universe so that he could make his Anti-Universe the dominant force. His anti-matter machine, though was destroyed when Barry Allen ran SO fast that it not only destroyed the machine by reversing its power, but it also killed him. When the Earths were recomfoobulated into one Earth, Wally's powers were tamed and he wouldn't die from them anymore, and he took up the mantle of Scarlet Speedster in memory of Barry Allen.

In the future, there are several Flashes in Keystone City, and a museum to commemorate themm. When Barry Allen's grandson (who was born in the 30th century) came from the future to find the aid of Wally to help him control his hyper-motabolism (he was 12, but in terms of years only lived for 2 years), he was cured and became a new speedster named Impulse. He helped found Young Justice (alongside Tim Drake and Superboy) and then joined the Teen Titans and became Kid Flash.

When Infinite Crisis came, Wally and Bart helped push the insane Superboy Prime into another dimention. But Superboy Prime came back, and so did a Flash, but not Wally West....it was Bart Allen. He had been aged in this other dimention, but Wally never returned, and the Speed Force vanished from the Universe.
They relaunched the comic after that as Flash: The Fastest Man Alive, with Bart in the mantle, as the Speed Force was inside him. And after 13 issues, his evil clone sucked the speed force out of him, and then beat him to death.

The ironic thing is in the issue, one of the last pages is a few panels of Tim Drakes reaction to the news. He, Bart, and Conner (Superboy) founded Young Justice, and then reformed Teen Titans. Superboy died. And now Bart. It makes me fear for Tim Drake. He's my #2.....

Hot Dork of the Week - Jimmy Olsen

2007-06-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

Admit it. We all have a thing for red heads.

Jimmy Olsen has been getting a lot of face time lately with DC's Countdown. And his New Earth look is pretty hot, thanks to great artistry in the series. It just makes it harder to believe that "Jimmy Olsen Must Die." Although, I don't think it's much of a "stretch" to believe he'll make it through to the end of Countdown. I mean he IS Superman's #1 pal. *wink wink*
Jimmy, you're a lucky one. You've found your Superman...when will we find ours? When will we find ours....

Brok-e-mon

2007-05-16T18:53:00.000-07:00

_{Will the real Pikachu please step forward}

Man, I suck at this blogging crap. I swear, when finals are over, I'll do better. And I have no money cause I've been taking off work for them too. Icky poo poo.

Although, I do have 2 distractions from my finals studies.
1) My trying to procure a Blue PSP
Now, I know most of you know that I HATE sony. And I won't even come close to a PSP. But that was then, and this is now:
Parappa The Rapper is making its way to PSP, with multiplayer functions. One of my top ten games remade, handheld. Gitaroo Man was a burden for not having a PSP, but Parappa...that's just the straw that broke the portable camel's back. I must own one. But since I'm PICKY and didn't originally want one, I'm going for a BLUE one. Birthday's coming up, too..... *wink wink*

2) POKEMON DIAMOND
This is where my blogging craptast-o-fest stems from. I've only owned it for 2 weeks and have put 40+ hours on it.
And once I get the National Dex, I'll give my little review of it.

Later....

All That Glitters...

2007-04-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

The creative writing class I've been taking this semester has been tough as nails, and not in the expectations necessarily, but in the stories I've had to read of some of the other students. I don't want to sound like too much of a bitch, but seriously, I've seen better writing in Zero Wing.
I did, however, get an A on my midterm story, which was a memoir about my Wii. I'll post it on my website (still in construction and getting even worse due to school being all special ed on me), but if you really want to read it, you'll know how to get a hold of me to read it.

All of this writing really makes me think, though. About (what else?!) comic books.
There are 3 or 4 ages of comic books in this order
The Golden Age (1930's - 1950's) - This age marks the begining of many comic books and ongoing heroes (Supes, Bats, Cap)
The Silver Age (1950's - 1970's)- The beginning of more heroes, and the introduction of Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Marv Wolfman
The Bronze Age (1970's - late 1980's) - Worlds lived, worlds died, and nothing ever was the same. (RIP Gwen Stacy)
The Modern Age (also debated the Diamond Age) - Oh yeah, nothing was the same, it turned to CRAP until the last few years.

The thing about naming all of these after Olympic Sports places is that the later ones are deemed less lustrious than that of the early years, which is FAR from true. Perhaps my favorite is the Bronze Age, from which came New Teen Titans, Crisis on Infinite Earths, The Dark Knight Returns, The Phoenix Saga (X-Men) along with the UNCANNY X-Men, The Watchmen, and The Sandman. All of these were some of the most IMPORTANT writings ever. And then after that, in the 90's, something happened and comics just started to be badly written. Thankfully, both houses finally got their acts together (yes, I know I'm discluding the indies, but you'll get over it), and as of recently, things have been REALLY good for comics. We've seen in the last 5 or 6 years a reinvention of many stories, characters, and worlds that have been great. And everyone else has been racking in the popularity, the new comics for a new generation. Marvel actually has their own MOVIE studio now. And DC is finally coming out with some cartoon movies of their more racy stories.
It's quite a wonderful time to be a comic book geek.
Not that I am one or anything.

Cat's Cradle

2007-04-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've been completely trapped in the 2-D world of Super Paper Mario. It's been such a joyous event, and then last night, I heard some news that crashed the party.

Kurt Vonneguit (1922-2007) died.
This is actually somewhat personal to me. A year ago, I was working at a cafe over by the United Nations, by where Kurt lived. He would come in a few times a week during the summer I worked there, buy a hot dog with his little dog at his heels, walk outside and smoke like crazy. I finally got the courage to talk to him, and we ended up talking about politics, life, and Iowa. I felt I learned a few things from him, other than the fact that he was a crazy old man who chain smoked too much.
I'd always wanted to meet him, and I'll never forget the days when I was a regular part of his life.

Super God of Paper....Stuff

2007-04-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

There is nothing quite like the satisfaction of beating a game.
And I got my bloody satisfaction: I beat God of War 2. And may I just say, it was a doozy of a game. Comparably to the first GoW, it felt much more complete. I rmeember reading an interview about GoW by David Jaffe, and he said that a few of the levels had to be rushed due to the production schedule. And it was a shame, really.
But GoW 2 felt like part of a complete healthy breakfast. However, it left me with a new hunger: what was next?

I have a snack for now. I just downloaded StarFox 64 for the Virtual Console. Ahhhhhh, the memories. Nabbing medals, time trials, vs mode. So much goodness in that game.

The main course, however, is the new Super Paper Mario. Oh man. It looks like a deliciously long and new game.
The premise is hilarious in its own right:
- Princess Peach(Toadstool) has been kidnapped (again!). Toad rushes to Mario and Luigi, who feign their disbelief, and rush off to Bowser's (King Koopa's) castle to confront him. They catch him unaware and begin their attack, but Bowser says he was just about getting ready to nab her, and he hadn't done it yet. Just then, the true enemy reveals himself: an evil black wizard. He sucks most of Bowser's castle into a vortex. Bowser wakes up in a tuxedo close to Princess, in a bridal gown. And the wizard's plot is revealed: he is going to force Princess and Bowser to wed, thus screwing up the natural order of things and causing a paradox so great it releases an evil force (the Black Heart) that will swallow the entire universe into itself!
EVIL! AND HILARIOUS!

Now that my bloodlust has been quenched, this is a perfect game to move on to. That, or I need a game with lots of naked mens in it. But not Mario. He can keep his overalls right where they are.

Death By Chocolate (And Bullets)

2007-03-08T18:07:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Steve Rogers aka Captain America 1941-2007
I'll never forget where I was when I heard that Captain America was shot.
<<<<>>>>
Boo to Marvel. Boo to them for killing him in vain, because Civil War turned out to be weak. When we need Captain America most, he is killed by a few bullets.
Not in a galactic war.
Not in a battle with Red Skull.
Not even by a bad burrito.
Bullets. He's shaken off so much WORSE. But bullets. And they're going to bring him back with some big event and that'll be good but not GREAT. And then who will care that he died. All they want to do is make you read more about him so that they get more money.
Bullets.....feh. Pussy. I think it's allegory at how weak our country is.

Props however to DC. They are going strong with 52. It truly is one of the most epic things I've ever read. I can't get enough of it. Twist, turns, deaths and undeaths. Worlds live, worlds die. If you want to see some of the most horrifyingly delicious images and plot devices, pick it up. It truly makes the DCU feel a lot less inclined to resurrect heroes, which will make returns MUCH more amazing.

Still, I sit here eating chocolates, thinking of Cap, and other things that seem to have died, but I am hopeful will return to make things right.

This is for you, Bucky.

Better Nate Than Lever

2007-02-19T21:22:00.000-08:00

Grah. I hate myself for not updating for so long. But with school starting and several other things coming up, I've been very distracted.
I promise for no more delays on updates. I am certainly NOT another Duke Nukem Forever.
In all seriousness, though, I'm very excited about an upcoming project I'm working on for school.
I am working on a short film about....wait for it.....the college life of Aquaman!
Super neato wowee, right?!

The tragic thing is that I'm addicted to my videogames and can't find myself doing much work, ever. Especially with the ever addictive WarioWare:Smooth Moves for the Wii.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves

Wario is one of my favorite characters in the Mario franchise. I can remember the first time I saw him appear in Super Mario Land 2 for the GB, and then seal his stay in Nintendo in Wario Land (Super Mario Land 3). I was 10 and had just got back from baseball practice on my birthday. I was so excited when I got it from my mom, and then a second copy from my grandma, that I could have kept both the copies. And here we are, 11 years later, with WarioWare: Smooth Moves.

WW:SM takes from it's handheld predecessors as a collection of minigames. With a twist. You have to do a series of them in a row, and each one lasts about 3 seconds, with a short 1 or 2 words on how to do the minigame. It may not sound like much, but as the game gets faster, you really feel the strain.
And by strain I mean friggin fantastic fun.
This incarnation is just as fast and as much of a frenzy as the other games, but this time in addition to feeling your brain sweat from trying to discern what to do in the minigame, you also start to feel the sweat pour down your face as you move around so much. And this is awesome. The WiiSports experiment holds NOTHING to this game. I've never moved around so much playing a videogame. And this game makes you MOVE. It truly utilizes so many things you can simulate with the WiiMote. Which includes balancing a broom, gliding with a leaf, and answering a phone.
Sounds exciting, no?
WELL IT MOTHER F*@#ING IS!
The only disappointing thing is that they didn't put more games on it, and the lack of multiplayer. They included as many games as are on the handhelds, but it just feels like I want more and more, damnit.
But if you don't pick up this game, you'll be missing out on something so insanely, blindingly fun for your Wii, that might as well chop your Wii in half.
Oh yes, I went there.

You Know A Hero Lies In You

2007-01-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

_{"If you can read this, you haven't vaporized your moniter by squeezing lasers out of your squinted eyes..............try harder."}
Oh Mariah.

Heroes. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone wants to be them. And I haven't watched it until 1/11/07, 10pm (eastern/standard). I've had it DV-R'ed for ever, and I finally got myself to watch it.
As a comic book geek, people often asked me, "Jake, are you watching Heroes?" After my negative affermation, they tend to look at me like they just might have laser eyes themselves.

I've had my reservations about the show. Superhero shows tend to not be very good 4 times out of 5. And frankly, I don't need a new show to be obsessed about, ala Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I don't need to pull out a piano and play the musical episode for you in it's entirety.
Verily, I love superheroes. I have such a love/obsession/fetish for them. But I'm VERY critical on them if they're no good.

HOWEVER, I watched the first 2 episodes of Heroes tonight, and it was so much better than I expected. And now I'm hooked. The rules they create for their universe are interesting enough, yet I'm not sure after 2 episodes I get it. With Hiro's space/time powers, the artist's ability to see into the future, and the one girl's other self in the mirror, I'm not sure what their limits are, and what they are doing with the rules of the universe. However, with Jeph Loeb on the team, only good things can come from the series, especially with such a wonderful start.
The show for me, however, causes slight depression. The show speaks to me in a sickeningly close way. The way I have always felt different from others. Even some...features...on me are odd and completely out of the ordinary. The scene of the one guy walking on air made me cry a bit. Flying, always a dream of mine. And yet, it probably will never happen.

Then again, stranger things have happened.

Dreamcasts Do Come True

2007-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

Wow....umm....it's certainly been a while...nice to see you again. I know, I know, I could have called, but you could have, too. How was your Christmas....good? Good. How was mine? Well...

Oh Christmas in Iowa. Iowa is a magical, magical place, for real. Anytime I need something, I can find it there. ESPEICIALLY videogames. My favorite videogame store, Gamers, has every videogame I want (except Parappa The Rapper, but whatever). This time, though, since it was the season of giving, I bought a game for someone else, instead of myself. While shopping, though, I noticed that there was a Dreamcast on sale for $25. I was with a friend, to whom I drooled a bit and said "Man, I wish I could have one of those. Then I could own at least every system of ONE generation," since I had never owned any other systems growing up besides my Nintendo ones.

Lo and behold, the day before I leave, I get one last present from my friend (who is my ex, but we are still in love, which is much like that of Mario and Bows...I mean, Princess Peach). It's a shoe box. Shoes? Not his style. Then I open it, and it's a dick in a box. Wait...no. It's....A SEGA DREAMCAST. Gahhhhhhhhhh. With Soul Caliber. GAHHHHHHH.
If there is one way deep into my heart, it's to buy me a game system.

I used to feel my heart was an old NES that wouldn't play games anymore, but my ex was the thing that blew into it and pushed on the game while hitting reset to make it work again.

Hit the jump for reviews on some of the Wii Virtual Console games I've downloaded :-)

I ended up getting 4000 Wii Points for Christmas, so I decided to download some classic games. One was just nostalgic. The other 2 were ones that I'd always wanted to play.

F-ZERO

This is definately classic. And it feels really good on my Classic Controller. So fast, but the thing that really draws me in is the music. Man that game had fun, retro-futuristic music. It's such a great staple for old school futuristic racing.

SUPER CASTLEVANIA 4

I love Castlvania. This feels so classic, like the old Nintendo ones, but it feels a little yawn worthy compared to the ones I've been playing on the DS. I would rather have downloaded the ROM for free.
(p.s. I am downloading these games for money to support my love for Nintendo.)

GUNSTAR HEROES

This game is amazing. I love fast shooters, and this one is FAST and....forgive me for being cliche....FURIOUS. I cannot believe this fun of a game game out on the Sega Genesis. It looks great, feels great, and just feels SO classic. I had never played this before, except the sequel on my GBA, but it is so fun, almost even more so. I HIGHLY recommend downloading it!

Ho Ho Ho!

2006-12-25T09:34:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Iowa to everyone out there in cyberland! I hope everyone got their Wiis or 360s or DSs this year!
And not a PS3!
And those of you with Wiis, I'll see you on the internet channel!

O Gannon-baum

2006-12-14T09:13:00.000-08:00

_{After playing a game for 40 hours, this is all I see. Now you understand.}
Wait....what...what is that? LIGHT? Is that...the triforce?! NO. It's the sun! I...I had forgotten what it looks like.
Now that I am finally not holed up in my dark room playing Zelda, as I have BEATEN it, I make it just in time to start frantically thinking about Christmas. I hate my procrastinating nature. Damn me.
I am working on getting my own personal site up, but we'll see how that'll pan out. I've been doing some flash stuff, too, so I'm hella excited to do that stuff. I made my first cartoon, which, when I have my site up in a few weeks (by the new year at least, when I get a domain name), and I'm very excited. Next up, live action stuff for next semester. I'm so excited to be doing creative stuff, finally. Maybe I will acheieve my dreams after all.
Speaking of, what has been going on in the world for the last 20 days?

Alright. Here's my full review of

THE LEGEND OF ZLEDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS

I hate to compare this to Ocarina of Time, but this begs to be compared to it. From the very beginning, it feels like the exact same formula that made OoT so g-d amazing. However, it drags this begininng formula out. Needless to say, the beginning of the game is my least favorite, especially due to the Twilight areas of the game. It's half OoT (dungeons, finding items you need to access the dungeon) and half a f***ing collection game. And Nintendo, collection is not cool anymore.
This aside, the second half is where the story REALLY comes together as a new Zelda game. I give huge props to the dungeon design crew, cause that shiznit is hella tight. And the boss battles. Oh god, they're awesome. A few of them are reminiscent of Shadow of the Colossus. The underwater temple boss, so freaky, and so awesome. And the boss battle with the (supposed) main bad guy is so fun.
However (and as everyone knows, so this isn't spoiling anything), this game's main bad guy is Ganon. And Ganon...well...is Ganon. The end sort of loses me. It's exciting, but I wish it was more. It started to pull me in after his 3rd form, but, well, they lost me, and then the end is so ambigiously weird, I'm not sure what to think of it.
Seriously, though, you have to have this game. It's a Zelda game, and it's new and awesome. Whether you get it on the Wii or GameCube, however, is up to you. There was one point I wish I would have had the GameCube version, though, as your swings demand timing. This game is long, but like every other Zelda game, I can bet you I'll be coming back to play this again.
YOU MUST BUY THIS GAME!

HEY! LISTEN!

2006-11-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

_{The Mario Brother from another mother.}

For those of you who don't know, I have a Wii now. I stood in line in the brisk November air for 10 hours in the middle of the night. And I loved it. The people were great. Link was there, Mario and Luigi, another Mario (I think it was an extra life from another game), and a Gregario. I played a LOT of Mario Kart DS with people, which, if you have lots of people to play it, it's amazing. I miss all my people, though.
Oh, and I found the Triforce.
Anyway, the Wii. It's amazing. I love everything about it. I'm PARTICULARLY fond of the Mii Channel they have. You get to create an avatar that can go to other people's consoles, which is cool. And mine ACTUALLY looks like a little toy version of me. Which is cool and creepy at the same time. I hope it doesn't steal my soul. Sometimes, I think it can HEAR me as well as it can track my movements. But the game I'm playing...it's....it's...

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

I'm about 6 hours into it. The beginning is really, really stunning, yet ambiguous and a tad restrictive. You're not allowed to leave the forest or your village to go into the entire world (which I hear is HUGE I hear) until a point I have yet to reach. Visually, it looks like it was made for the GameCube. The graphics could have used a LITTLE polish, but it still looks STUNNINGLY great. And when I see Link actually crack a smile, I melt. I love Link.
However, the most disappointing thing is that there is apparently a love interest this time around for Link. No more running around with the faries, no more Link and Zelda just being friends. It's sad, really. Then again, this girl DOES have a seemingly unhealthy obsession with Link's horse........

Let's Get Wii-tarded

2006-11-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

First of all, someone buy me this.

I meandered my way into the Nintendo store today, and they had several kiosks up to play Wii games.
I cannont express in text the excitement I felt...but wrap your mind around this:
When I walked in and saw the Wii-osks (I MADE THAT UP JUST NOW BITCHES) I felt my weiner explode into a new universe of existence where all pleasure like oxygen and my brain had devoloped several holes that were filled with rainbow and unicorns and Chuck Norris was there, too, kicking me in the face with the foot that smells like a word that is more than extreme happiness.
It was like I met a REAL ninja, I was so excited. And he raped me...Naruto style. He rape-jitsued me, with all of his awesomeness.
Oh. Almost got too distracted.. Lemme tell you about the games I played.

Wii Sports: Tennis
Pretty basic stuff here. Basic in the pretty awesome way, though. As a 4 year (that's f***ing right, FOUR) varsity tennis player, I loved how the controller responded to my wrist position. The way my wrist was tilted changed the direction the ball would go. Amazing. However, from what I tried, the speed of the swing doesn't affect the speed of the swing in the game. And some of the aiming was weird. It'll be fun to play at first, but it'll be slightly annoying after awhile I'm guessing. The *cute* guy giving me swinging lessons (I KNOW I didn't need them, but I liked him holding my Wii-mote with me) kept reassuring me that it's only a demo for how the control works, and it certainly feels that way. But I still can't wait.

Dragonball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2
This played pretty damn good for what it was. I was having a lot of fun playing with the Nunchuck and the Wiimote, and the response of the controls in a fast paced game was good. HOWEVER, why I was TRULY excited to play this game was for the idea that you could do the same moves from the show to perform certain attacks, ergo to do a Kamehameha, you actually bring your hands back like Goku and thrust forward, releasing your Ki energy in a powerfully concentrated blast that will obliterate your enemies. However, that wasn't the case. I jumped right in doing that, and ended up doing a Kaoken attack. I was pissed. I didn't want the Kaoken. How could I beat Frieza with just a Kaoken attack!?!?!? I would have to be a SUPER SAYIN (Sayajin if you're a Jap). God. The special moves needed some work. But it was wonderful still. Cheese louise people. Can't you get your Kamehamehas and Special Beam Cannons right?!
I must go and scrape the crusty zits from my face now.

This One's For Jonathan

2006-11-11T00:15:00.000-08:00

So I'm a huge nerd, and I have a huge sex drive. But I'm a nerd first and foremost.

A boy was trying to convince me to go home with him. We got on the subject of videogames....and he mentioned that he wanted to get a PS3.
I just wouldn't have it. I did all in my power to convince him not to buy one, and then he got very angry at me. Needless to say, I did NOT get lucky that night, sans the satisfaction of confounding a Sony fanboy.

Now, on the way home from Jonathan's birthday at Phoenix, I craved....CRAVED...corn dogs. I love corn dogs. So much. Yum. So I'm walking to the 14th st Papaya and there are two guys checking me out, who I talk to. They're both German (HOT) and they are both interested in talking to me (HOT). But I was SO hungry. So we're talking and flirting, but I'm being completely facicious because I want a corn dog. So I explain my situation, and they INSIST on seeing me eating a corn dog. And then, after I make an ass of myself in explaining how I wish Oxygen was actually Corn Dogs and I would breathe that instead, I did not have a 3-some. And I came home and wrote this.
But I brought 2 corn dogs home with me.

The End

The Aqua Boogey

2006-10-31T22:36:00.000-08:00

Well, Halloween is now over. While not quite as good as last year, the accomplishment still feels great.
My Aquaman costume went over swimmingly....pun intended
Still, I HATE the parade. it's so packed and takes forever to go through to places. Bleh.

I'm about to hit the sack, but I wanted to give a friendly reminder that in 19 days, the Wii comes out. And the more I hear about things, the more I believe it truly is the greatest thing ever.

Licking Your Wounds In Digital

2006-10-18T08:43:00.001-07:00

I despise reading articles like this. The long and short of it is a school in Mass. has banned tag and other chasing type games out of fear of childen falling and suing the school.
....WTF (pardon my e-French)
This is why I hate modern society and despise modern parents. Why do I hate these parents, you ask?
First: They deny their children games that will develop IMPORTANT social skills. Sure, there are others, but there is something about a game where you touch and chase someone that gives you that thing for chasing people down later in life when it really matters to touch them.
Secondly: These are the same parents who don't want there kids to be gay, and want to ban gay marriage. What they're doing is breeding a bunch of pussy children who will be sniviling, annoying accountants and lawyers in their later years. And also probably be gay. If you're going to ban tag, give us our gay rights, dammit.

On a lighter note, I went to the Digital Life Expo this weekend. Wow. If there was ever any doubt of me having ADD, it was dashed when I got there. I spent about and hour and a half there playing games such as Justice League Heroes (which was actually great for a dungeon crawler) to Final Fantasy XII (which I'm not so enamoured with). And I got to meet Sonic the Hedgehog.
Grrrrrl, he done had him a couple face lifts and some other work done. His age is showing, though. When not behind a tv screen, you can REALLY tell.

He's Dead, She's Dead

2006-10-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

Bobby Fisher (r) playing against futuristic android Data (l) from Star Trek. Oh wait...
As a film major, I suppose I OUGHT to post at least once about movies, rather than my comic obsession and videogaming lifestyle.
I love horror movies. So much. The gorier, the better. There are so many out there. But one has always stuck out in my mind:
The Evil Dead.
Now, I love musicals, too. But Evil Dead: The Musical? Can it work? Could it work?
It did.
Evil Dead: The Musical was the greatest musical I've ever seen. Ever. It was the most perfect mixing of zombies, horror, and musical camp I've ever seen in my life. I wanted to cry from happiness. So very good. And my favorite part was Cheryl. Oh, she was the greatest thing ever.
Speaking of the dead, I stayed up late to catch perhaps one of my favorite movies EVER on IFC: The Seventh Seal.
I don't normally like older movies, but this one just oozes with depth and brilliance. And seeing it again had made me realize the poinance it has to today's world. Watch it and see. YOU HAVE TO.

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

2006-10-03T23:09:00.000-07:00

Often, I find myself rocking back and forth in a corner after hours of playing a certain addictive game, and telling myself I'm not a big baby for doing it. But no matter what I do or say, I cannot escape my fate, and I am here on this blog to announce it today in front of God (or god) and all 3 of you who read this:
I am....a POKEMANIAC.
There. I said it. You happy? No more interventions now, please.
But more to the point, I am extremely giddy, as the school girl I am, for Pokemon: Diamond to be released. It was just released to the Japs (that's Japanese, fyi) this week, and it's going to be a forking awesome game. There's something about having a "Pocket Monster" that is just alluring to me.
Seemingly, it should be an advertising goldmind on the gay front!

Perhaps a diamond, while not being preceded by the word Pokemon, and making me less giddy as a school girl, but more queasy, like the school girl a few days after her drunken orgy after prom, is the porn of actor Dustin Diamond, aka Screech. In this highly anticipated debut for Diamond, he has a hot 3-some with 2 girls. But that's not the kinkiest part. Oh no. The words "dirty" and the name of a Mexican, "Sanchez," have been popping up along with these. I'll report on if these words are related in any way, and if in fact, there were tacos being sold.
As a film maker, and gay nerd, I feel it is my duty to watch this video. I mean, what other possibly gay, nerdy icons did I have to look up to as a kid.
My mother, when prompted with this question, quickly replied, "That kid from that show in the 80's. You know, Corky."

The Only Women I've Ever Loved

2006-09-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes they make me choose And they are jerks for it.
About every 5 months, a Gamespotaffiliate entitled GameFAQs does a poll (among their many others) entitle BEST. CHACRACTER. EVER. in the world of videogames. And it always ends with very undiffering results. It's either Sephiroth, Cloud, Chrono, or Link in the winner's circle. And this time, they are trying to avoid that by plotting them against eachother right at the get go. So far, though, the characters have been all SquareEnix characters, of which there are many lovable characters, but they all are fanboys dreams. And they made me choose. Between two of the greatest ladies in my life.
Aeris "Aerith" Gainsborough of FFVII and Princess Nadia "Marle" Guardia of Chrono Trigger.
This is a hard choice for me.
Now, I love LOVE Final Fantasy VII, but Chrono Trigger was like my first RPG experience (other than Super Mario RPG).
And once EVERY year, I dust off my Super Nintendo and play Chrono Trigger. I've done that for the last 11 years. And Marle DID teach me the joys of bisexuality, the dyke that she was.
Still, I own 2 copies of FFVII. And I love playing that. And Aeris's death was perhaps the turning point in what games meant to me in my life. And I know lots of gamers with cats named "Aeris." (Or Aerith depending how much of a n00b j00 are). And she also taught me that you should hate the playa, you should hate the game (oh Zack and Cloud)....that is until your untimely death at the hands of a one-winged angel.
Who did I choose? Who won my vote? Which lady has my blessing to go further? Will I ever disarm that bomb in time?
Well, you're not supposed to talk about who you voted for, are you?
Yet, today it was Squall (of FFVIII) vs. Titus (of FFX). And I will tell you who I voted for there.
Neither. They both suck equally as much.

Wii The People

2006-09-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard, the >Wii has set a release date and a price. These facts are very unsurprising: the Wii will release on November 19, 2006 at a price of $249.99 (25000 yen in Japan). Reactions have been felt worldwide to this news. Screams of joy could be heard from several basements.
And moans of dispair were heard from the offices of Sony Inc.

Oh Sony. Where did you go wrong? Oh, I know. It's when you decided that you'd conciously make your target audience only minorities. Seriously, when the PSP was first released, the only people I saw playing it were latinos and blacks. (Not that that's a bad thing....please don't beat me up 50 Cent....)
The most depressing news that almost feels as a slap in the face, though, is the news that in Japan the PS3 will cost almost $100 less than in the US. This is their only tactic against the Wii in Japan (Nintendo is impossible to beat there....how do yo think they stay in business...also XBox sels like crap there). You're sinking awfully low Sony. AWFULLY low.

Speaking of sinking to unlawful lows, I'm playing yet another semi-hard game to find on my DS called Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Yes, it's just as it sounds. A game about being a lawyer. Who'd have thought, though, that it would be fun. Which it is. In buckets. There's nothing I like more than having people stare at me on the subway as I yell "OBJECTION" at my DS. This is one game that, if you find it, you should pick up and play. It's a little difficult sometimes, though. The logic behind some of the trial objections can be hard to decipher, but it's still a VERY well told story. With gays and jiggly breasts and fat anime perverts! It's a game that speaks to everyone. Phoenix Wright

All I Know, All I Owe, I Owe Ioway

2006-09-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

I've been out of the city recently and back home in Iowa for my father's wedding. It's kept me busy, but it's felt really good to be back in the midwest with all the people I grew up with. Seeing so many people I remember from all sorts of different ages all together in one place made me feel so homesick for a bit...till the family drunken redneck dancing gave way, and I remembered one of the reasons I moved to NYC in the first place.
Though, it did make me realize that I should give my friends in New York more of my time and friendship. I have a really hard time accepting them as parts of my life I guess. The people in Iowa I've grown up with, but I realize more that I'm leading a new life, and new people deserve my time if they want it, but the important people deserve more of it. NY has a way of sucking your life away not from yourself, but from the self you allow to give to others. Just because I didn't grow up with these people doesn't mean I can't allow them to get close to me now. I need closer friends now more than ever.
I get very lonely. And it always confused me since I know so many people, and I know how I need to remedy it more than ever now.
But really, I need someone to play more videogames with me.

Preparing for the Real World

2006-09-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

I like to be punny in my titles. See if you get it (hint - This entry is about two things)

First off, I started school. Oh boy, here we go again for crap. Thankfully, I'm finally getting my gen ed. classes pretty much finished (except for 2 I'm taking in the summer), which gives me plenty of room to actually do my major (which is Film). Unfortunately I'm looking at 12 credits instead of the usual 15. So I gotta find a class. For my minor. Which I have to have, but is undeclared. So I dunno what I'm going to do. I'm brooding, eating my Double Stuf™ Oreos trying to hatch a sinister plot so I can get into a full class. Watch out freshmen....hazing is about to get dangerouser.

The other subject has to do with work. And basically the entire shape of my gay life.
I met one of the people who helped me to discover my gay identity, someone who game me someone I could relate to in the queer world. Someone who was just so damn hot I couldn't help but to have become a faggot.
Danny Roberts (of MTV fame).
Everything that I've ever looked for in guys, everything I've wanted to be, it was because of Danny, honestly. My first boyfriend looked strikingly like him.
Truly, he makes me long for the midwest and the values that I've seen to shed off from there as I have adapted to the land of skyscrapers and Jews.

Ok, get the title now? Eh? EH?

Speed 3 -or- The Day I Saved A Bus From A Frog

2006-08-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

My absolutely completely fanasmagorical dream is to be a superhero. But there are daily heroisms that I like to practice. For example:

I was riding the M9 bus to the L form work. I'm sitting there listening to the iPod, when suddenly the bus comes to a screeching halt by a park in Chinatown. The bus door was opened, and the bus driver jumped out of his seat and ran to the back of the bus. My first thought is "Oh, there's someone with a gun at the door. Just how I always thought I'd go...on a bus in Chinatown." I take my headphones off to hear the bus driver spewing a garbled string of words which I made out to say "On...brakes...frog...AH!" Naturally, as most New Yorkers are, no one got up.
This looks like a job for Jake, boy wonder!
As I leap to action, I make my way to the front of the bus. As I near the point of action, I see what looks like a leaf on the brakes. I laughed (heartily) and said "Is this it?" and with disdain he told me "I KNOW what a frog looks like. Look under the brake lever!" As he points to it, I reach down to pull it up. Suddenly, the BIGGEST frog I've EVER seen in my whole entire life. I take it into my hand, and look it straight in the eyes, thinking "Boy, I sure feel like I've kissed a lot of you in my time in NYC, and still, no princes."
I set the frog down in the park, and went back to my mild mannered iPod listening of Macy Gray's "I Try" as the bus sped me away from the greatest frog I've ever seen...
Before it left my peripheral vision, though, I saw a rather shabby looking Chinese man walk up to where I put the frog. In a state of horror and disgust, I watched the China-man shift his eyes about, pick up the frog, and put it in a plastic sack and shuffle off.

From that moment, I vowed to never let a China-man steal away the ones I love.
Cause that happens so often.
Really.

Mac & Cheese W/ Corn

2006-08-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful dinner I had at my friend DJ's. He made authentic southern Mac & Cheese, and it was absolutely the best thing I've ever eaten, ever. And I had a whole bottle of wine before I ended up at Upright Citizens Brigade.

Now, my friend invited me to go. I LOVE going to Upright Citizens Brigade. Last year, I actually did a few shows there, which I LOVED. In Iowa I was a huge improver, and it just makes me mad that I don't do it more here, since I get so wrapped up in school stuff.
Anyway, my friend invited me to go cause he's in it. I had no idea what it was, but I was excited. Once I was sober enough to realize I was sitting in the UCB theater, the show started. Wow was I drunk.
The title of the show was "The Grossest Sketch Show Ever."
Oh my god. It was. So gross.
There were some cute gross sketches. Fake diahrrea with corn and peanuts in it. And nudity (I truly believe straight guys have smaller dicks from this show).
But I saw the GROSSEST thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Just to sum it up, the end of it consisted of a guy throwing up in a bucket, another stripping down, then dumping the vomit on his head, and then peeing on the other guy as he rubs vomit on his cock.

You're Gonna Carry That Weight.

Fageekery

2006-08-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the start of something quite wonderful, I went to my first Gay League meeting the other night.

The Gay League is a meeting of gay comic book lovers that meet every once in a while. They talk of fabulosity and Fantastic Four, theater and The Teen Titans, queers and Queen (*comma* Oliver that is, aka Green Arrow).
All in all, it's quite a wonderful time. But as is oft the case, gays can't keep their eyes and hands to themselves.
Now, this wasn't a bad looking group of guys, either. OBVIOUSLY the youngest (and prettiest...if you could only see my batting eyes), the age range wasn't that big. The average was 30, and cute guys indeed. Very interesting guys. I found myself occupied by this strange and wonderful new expereince, but found a few guys attractive. But the one guy that found me MOST attractive was of course the one that comes from the land of "no blondes," the Asian.

Not that I have anything against them, really. But one bad date (well, one bad drop of the pants, leading to support of a CERTAIN stereotype) and other weird experiences at seedy clubs have led me to take caution when crossing the path of the Rising Sun type.
It's kind of like "The Trouble With Tribbles." Asians, like Tribbles, can be so darn cute, but they will latch onto you and eat you away. (I heard they eat flesh somewhere, I think)
But it is just caution I use....I don't count them out TOTALLY. Although, my jealousy of the ease that their bodies become ripped still causes me to grind my teeth (as I pack down my donuts).

Fire Island: Neither On Fire Or An Island...

2006-08-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

Wait...it IS an island....and there ARE flamers....

Anyway, more about that soon. First, I want to say, yes that IS me in some of those new party pictures on DList. Although, in one of them, I look very dorky and alone in the middle of....something. I just have to say that I was actually trying to decide which ones to join first. ;-)
Just check 'em out and you'll see.

So I went to Fire Island this weekend for the first time. Wow, it was amazing. AMAZING.
I mean, it could have been terrible, but the accomadations and the weather and the new experience. It was all just right!
I relish outsite enviroments where I can freely go rollicking about. Especially in a debaucherous way.

One particularly jaunting moment was while I was being taken on my tour of the Meat Rack. I love outdoors sex so it seemed like my place to be. The whole time we'd see people splattered about here and there, but the entire time I felt like we were walking through the forest animal watching. We'd hear rustling, and then we'd stop and get really quiet as not to scare them away from their natural habit(at)s. I was almost tempted to put out a salt lick...along with margarita mix.

I guess it would be effective in putting out a BEAR trap, too! (I think BARE would also have worked, but the double meaning of bear is pretty funny to me.)

Most of the time I was there, though, I was thinking how GREAT a setting it would be for a ghost horror movie/game (Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly seemed to come into mind a LOT while walking around the boardwalks...especially seeing the bamboo!)

Mac Prose

2006-08-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

The new Mac Pros (eh, eh...get the title???...ah never mind) came out. And thanks to student loans, I'm going to get one! Hurrah! Who cares about debt, as long as my computer is kick ass?! Besides, that's 3 years from now, why worry?!

Ah, I live in a fantasy world. Of constant horniness and erections. Speaking of....

Since I wanted to finish this I'm gonna! These are the 2 books to read! Have to! DO IT!

2). Civil War Marvel's metaphor for the ever present rift between the blue states and red states, Civil War is a look at what happens when hero fights hero, brother fights brother, and the whites decide to free the slaves....errr....
As I said with Spider-Man before, the conflict begins with a tragic event (a chunk of Stamford, Conn. gets blown up...so tragic), which happens because of a group of brash, young, stupid heroes, and leads to the deaths of thousands, including theirs. The people cry out and the government decides to step in and proposes a new bill called the Superhero Registration Act, which passes easily. This brings the 3 major players in; Iron Man, who supports the act out of guilt for funding the young group; Captain America, the symbol of America, who OPPOSES the act and fights for the civil liberties of the heroes; and Spider-Man, who is caught up in the middle of everything, and who's choices will seem to turn the tide for who comes out on top. Speaking of tide, there have been recent events that have come up that will affect things even more....tide...heheh

1). 52 Taking place in a new world post-Infinite Crisis (since you can no longer just say THE crisis: see Crisis On Infinite Earths, circa the mid '80s), we see the world through a group of 2nd and 3rd teir heroes (and villains) trying to clean up their towns without Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman. The thing about these 6 characters, though, is that they have some of the most interesting stories to tell: Steel, with his rebel neice and their new found powers, courtesy of Lex Luthor; Booster Gold, with his bastardization and selling out of superheroism in Metropolis; The tragic story of the now-powerless Elongated Man trying to figure out why his dead wife's things have been vandalized; Black Adam, trying to rule his country, stop terrorism, and learn to love and be a good guy again; and the ones that have people buzzing the most - The Question and Renee Montoya, trying to keep an international gang (Intergang...original, no?) out of Gotham. But it looks like they have a little help....from Batwoman. The lezzy of the news herself, she has made her appearance, and it was big.
All of this is going to affect the course of the DCU. We already exist One Year Later, but the 52 weeks we see people who really put the pieces together.

But don't take my word for it!

Jake And The Fate Man

2006-08-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

DListers: Great party, no? Glad to finally meet a lot of the peeps there. It sucked that I had to leave so abruptly, but it was getting TOO late.

I love making new friends. I love being me. Geeky, gay, scandalous me. And I like friends of the sort. Well, if I ever meet someone enough like me, they'll probably be my love forever. But for now, friends who share similar aspects dominate a lot of my *heart*
Back in Iowa, all of my best friends were straight guys, along with a few girls. Since I moved here, I've made mainly gay friends. It's great and all, but there's this whole thing with me being a sexual deviant. So sex always comes into play at SOME point. Since I started college here, things have been following the same suit as in Iowa, finally. I've never really just randomly met and made friends with a straight guy outside of school, though.
But maybe tonight I did.
On the train, just playing Ouedan. The guy across from me typing on his computer, very dorky looking, not that attractive, but i loved his shirt. He saw me playing, named the game and we were talking the rest of the ride, and he even lives close to me. Gave me his phone number even. Can a straight guy give you his number on a train ride??? Should I be suspicous?
I have a feeling I'll be hanging out with him a lot, in a strange way.

Back to comics:

3). Batman With Batman going off to find himself (with Robin and Nightwing.....mmmm...I'd love to find MYSELF with all of them {and you know they were fucking}), he's come back a new man...bat....hero. Gone is the paranoid, untrusting Batman. Now we have the father figure; soft, but ready to dish out the punishment that has to be dealt, and harshly if need be. After his first battle being back in Gotham, he's now been picked up by writer Grant Morrison (of ALL sorts of fame), and he's off trying to remember how to be Bruce Wayne (and apparently remember how to be straight). The run is called "Batman And Son," and the last issue saw Batman OFFICIALLY adopting Tim Drake as his son. But this Grant Morrison issue isn't about that relationship, as something lurks in the shadows of Batman's past, and has found him. And NINJA MANBATS! Gotta check it out! The first issue was kinda meh, but it's going to be a very strange, but awesome run!

Two to go....

Excelsior Means DC is For Douchebags!

2006-08-03T22:45:00.001-07:00

....not my opinion. That's according to Stan Lee....or rather "The Stan Lee Experience" (You'll see how much I love DC)

I suffer the cliche` nerd problem (among other cliches) of having asthma. Now, my sports induced asthma I've grown out off since I was in wrestling (THIS IS A TRUE STATEMENT, DAMNIT), but every once in a while I'll be struck unaware by an attack, as was the case today. It was this heat, because, as they say, it's too damn hot.
Later, I learned that on the news there was a warning that the air was dangerously hot and stagnant and it wasn't recommended for nerds.....I mean, those with asthma, to go outside. But I need my fix of comics and videogames, damnit.

Speaking of comics, I haven't spoke much of them, as I mostly love my videogames more (I'm STILL playing Ouedan! even after beating it, although I am on the "insane" mode of it, where you play as girl cheerleaders, and I'm less excited about that).
Here is my list of the comics that, if you are interested, you should be keeping up on:

5). Eternals; This series has just kicked off and is only 6 issues long, so it's still easy to get into. The story takes off in the Marvel universe where Jack Kirby's original left off, about a handful of beings, the Eternals, who live forever and battle an evil, other eternal race, but apparently have lost their memory. The main reason you should read this series is because of it's writer, NEIL GAIMAN, of Sandman fame (which, if you haven't read, you should either read now, or kill yourself. Everyone should read this series, as it is a work of ART).

4). The Amazing Spider-Man Peter Parker has finally revealed himself as Spider-Man in the series Civil War, which will not only change the course of his life as he knows it, but that of the entire Marvel universe. Best at keeping his identiity most secret, he's trying to get other supers to fall into line and register with the government under the Superhero Registration Act. But he's done more than that. He's done the one thing in the world he wanted to do LAST: put his loved ones in danger. Now his entire rouges gallery knows who he, Mary Jane, and Aunt May are, and what effect this will have on the rest of his life will make for more interesting writing. The tragic part of it is he's regretting his actions more and more, and as Civil War draws to a close, Spider-Man is the center of the crisis and causes for some of the best Spider-Man writing in some time now. Now if he can lose that TACKY suit......

More later, true believers.....

Crazy Japanese and the Expos That Hate Them

2006-07-31T15:08:00.001-07:00

Wow. I mean, I'm shocked. I think Penny Arcade put it best. But I can't believe it's over....
They changed (but for all intensive purposes, they really cancelled) E3. No more giant trade expo. Just small meetings they said. You can read the full report here.

What does this mean for me? No more glitz and glamour. No more crazy import games. No more weird basement peripherals and hidden gems. No more hot correspondants from G4 covering it. And as much as I am not into them, I'll miss the cosplay booth babes.
My dreams are dead.
Sure, the people who have gone have said that it's a madhouse and that it'll be nice to see the good games all year rather than just at E3. But I never got to go. And since this seems permanent, I'll never go.
I remember hearing a story in 6th grade about how a kid sold one of his kidneys to go.
I didn't just believe that story, I believed IN the story, and all I wanted was to be that kid. That kid was me in my head...
...but here I am, sitting. Nakedly blogging my sorrow. With both my kidneys....

On the bright side, one of the crazy import games from last E3 fell into my hands by happenstance.
"Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan" (which pretty much translates to "Go! Fight! Cheer Squad") is possibly the BEST DS game I've played yet. But I'm also a slut for music/rhythm games. It will never reach American shores due to it's over Japanesiness. (Although, they are making a sequel that will be released first in the US called "Elite Beat Agents")
It's a great game (especially if you're a homo) as it is about MALE CHEERLEADING. Your band of cheerleaders goes around cheering people through their problems, such as one who has trouble concentrating on his homework, a girl in love with her boss, and my personal favorite, a horse trying to stop a burgler.
You can only import it, but it's a MUST have in this honest geeks naked opinion.

So You Want To Slay A Vampire?

2006-07-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

Ah, there is nothing like having edamame after a long day of bull crap.
Edamame: #1 snack of white kids who import anime and videogames from the comfort of their Fantastic Four underwear.

But I digress.

I had the last two days off from work. (And if you didn't know, I work at a certain "museum" type thingy that you wouldn't expect me to work at, but it's fitting once you think about it.)*** On my days off, I took up the arduous task of trying to find a game that has been overly popular, but surprisingly not supplied well. Meaning most places don't carry it anymore.
This game, of course, being Castlevania: Dawn Of Sorrow.
Call me old fashioned, but I KNOW, I know, I can find it online. But there's something about not paying shipping fees that I love. That and having it NOWWWWW! Thrill of the hunt, you know. Speaking of hunt...

For those of you who don't know, the Castlevania series (which is being made into a movie), involves that famous vampire of vampires, Angel....errr....I mean Dracula. The cursed Belmont bloodline produces the slayers (Buffy is not involved, I have to keep telling myself). Dracula comes back, they hunt and slay him. Simple formula, amazing results. If you can find it, play the PS1 title, Symphony of the Night, but it's hard to come by. Playing any of the GBA or the (elusive) DS title will suffice, as they kick ass.
If you play the N64 ones, you're probably a masochist.

***On a side note about work, 2 Brazillian boys tried to pick me up there, but I was too tired by the time work got out. Before that I met Kim Cattral (sp?) and she was so nice, I decided not to be sexual tonight. Too bad for me.

Lego My Dego(ba)

2006-07-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

So, here I am, starting a new blog. Why? I have no idea. I'm a BAD geek for not being a good blogger.

It would seem all the geeky things have an "og" in them: blog; mog; Frogger; The Fog (the first one of course); analog; etc.
You catch the drift.

I'm a geek by all legal means. I read comic books to great extent, play video games to great extent, keep up on my anime, work on computers (some), and keep a wide assortment of pens handy.

Although, there is another side to me. A dark side to me (well, as dark as my pale ass can get). One that, if you've seen the pictures from various parties, is very....well....naked. I am a sexual deviant.
Strike that; I'm a sexual jubilant. I'm fond of fondling. I delight in debauchery. I live for lechery. I revel in....revelry.
And nudity. I lurrrrrrve being naked.

You'll see that as this blog progresses, I'm sure.

Today I saw Superman Returns on IMAX 3D. SO hard to sit through it again. It was long, although the 3-D made it semi cool to do it again. I love me my Superman, but man, it's not that action packed, the 2nd half of the movie goes too long, they do TOO MANY homages to the first movie, and the "human" aspect of Superman is ruined by the person portraying him. Brandon Routh is "hawt" by all means, but no way is he a good actor. He was like Hayden Christiansen (sp?) in Star Wars.
Needless to say, I saw both in IMAX, and I seeing bulges in my face that big...god, it was like I was kneeling in front of Chad Hunt all over again.

Speaking of such, currently I'm playing Lego Star Wars which contains Episodes I, II, and III. And boy, is it just fun.
Despite my issues with the simple, simple battling system, making it Star Wars AND Legos makes me overlook it completely. If you haven't played this game, play it once, for god's sakes! The way it pokes fun at itself (and the movies) is just priceless, and shooting Jar Jar Binks in the back of the head over and over and over again makes me feel so much better about seeing Episode I twice.
Him and young Anakin...watching them both blow up into a bunch of lego bits....ahhh. It would only be more satisfying if you could just cut off their heads and defecate all over their bodies.

....too much? I guess that's all for now then!