We're the Kids In Mushroom Kingdom (Woah!)

^{Roy, Larry, Lemmy, Ludwig von, Iggy, Wendy O., and Morton Koopa Jr.}
Everyone stop what you're doing right now. RIGHT NOW. Now sit down. I have major news.

The Koopa Kids (or Koopalings if you're nasty) are going to be in the critically acclaimed New Super Mario Bros. Wii. I say critically acclaimed, all the best Mario games have had the Koopa Kids in it. Therefore, this will be one of the best Mario games of all time. OF ALL TIME!

Maybe bringing them back in such a big game means that they're back for good. Or maybe we'll find out their mom got custody of them and we'll be fighting Mrs. Koopa! Holy crap!

Whatever the case, this is now a must buy game. Period. I support the Koopalings, and so should you!

Say it with me: I AM A KOOPA KID!

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Review: Scribble-NOTS

^{Getting a star from a tree: The story of a retard, only on Lifetime.}
Hi. Remember me?
Yeah...crazy times...but here I am. I did a couple of posts, but then I found out that I wasn't updating at all, but throwing cats at my computer. Eh, misunderstanding happen.

ANYWHO

Where were we? Ah yes. I have been playing games this whole time, don't you worry. Now let me tell you the story of my experience with Scribblenauts -or- How I reLearned to Stop Jubilating and Not Believe in Hype.

Once, long ago, I learned that a game that was hyped up by advertisements, games journalists, magazines, etc., was always going to disappoint come launch date. Not just disappoint the masses, but me more than anyone. Even GTA was a constant disappointment (sorry, it just wasn't my bag, baby.)

Then, finally, the one (read: the Neo) of hyped games came out that turned my life around. Batman: Arkham Asylum came to me in my weakest moment and gave new life to me (and if you know what I was going through at that time, you know that there is probably WAY too much truth to that). With my shiny happy new outlook on the world of big videogaming, my giant burning all-seeing eye was set on one game in particular...SCRIBBLENAUTS!

Oh, how the joyous praises of the game were sung. You could WRITE ANYTHING and it would magically appear in the game! Never has this been done! You could pit God and Einstein against eachother and throw a kraken in there for good measure. Truly, this would be a wonder of wonders. And, even as a surprise move to myself, I reserved the game at Gamestop...I really wanted that hat, retarded rooster or not.

That's when a dark cloud appeared over my kingdom. Tragedy struck as I was delayed a day in the extraction of my game from the lair of the Gamestop goblins. A day late, I arrived to find that my hat had already been lost to the masses (even though I reserved the game and they should have gotten 1 hat per..limited quantities my ass).
Scarred, but not thwarted, I triumphantly took my game home. Upon my arrival I unsheathed the great wonder from the Gordian Plastic (there's a refernce for you) and proceeded to fight all manner of beast and brute, collecting shining gold emblems along the way.

And then the game that claimed to be only limited by imagination showed it's limits in logic and eventually, imagination.

The game was so great at first. Then suddenly I found that things that had some similarities were repeated items (i.e., medicine, potion, poison, etc; republican, businessman, democrat, etc.). I came to a challenge where I was to fight through evil knights, so I donned armor and a shield and sword, which in fighting knights, should keep you from dying so quickly. Or donning a bullet-proof vest when tying to stop an armed robbery...such is not the case. In the end I had a t-rex come and take care of them for me, which sounds fun right?

That's when the pattern sets in. When the super fun way and creative ways you come up with to solve a puzzle don't work, you end up using the same things over and over and over and over again, and it gets old. For me it always ended in "wings", "rope", "glue", "grapple", or in heavy duty cases, "helicopter". Also, things don't interact correctly...where a large (and it's huge) steel box should hold your weight to climb a rope from, nope. It falls on you the same way a small wooden box would. Also, people don't eat or grab things you give them a lot of the time, when it seems that they should. If I shove a donut in your face, you damn well better eat it.

Then came the saddest realization of all; my avatar wasn't some cool avant garde hipster in a rooster hat; he was a retard who lost his way from home. It's not just the fact that he was having trouble helping people in your neighborhoods with mundane tasks, nor was it the hat. It was the fact that 3 out of 5 times the object I would select wouldn't be selected; rather, it would be a simple tap that would sent my little buddy laughing and running off a cliff into a pit of spikes or lava. Every single time, with that smile on his face, he'd run haphazardly to his doom or push a button that would blow something up.

I would have actually grown an attachment to him were it not that he was always dying.

(Random interjection: I mean come on! Even a flying, invulnerable SUPERHERO can't stand up a robber with a police baton. Jeez!)

With my head hung low, I realized that Scribblenauts made me do two things that I swore never to do before and never to do again: Preorder a game at Gamestop, and trade in a game at gamestop.

With my trade in Gamespot bucks, and a reinstated appreciation for the underhyped, I bought the game that I should have gotten in the first place: Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.

And we lived happily ever after.

The End

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A Haiku

After few updates
Regaining cred this week on
JustinPlusOne.com

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Cog in the Machine

^{Gears of War: Wii Edition}
Since I've made the jump to HD with my XBOX 360, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with all the good games....that were shooters. There can be too much of a good thing.

So I took a break from them to play some happier, lighter games. A few months later, I'm reading about Gears of War 2, and feel my trigger finger itching.
But wait! I hadn't played the first one yet!

Now, you may not believe this, but I'm an avid videogame player. And like many things, I like playing games because I'm GOOD at them. Shooters, however, I'm not super great at.

I'm bad enough at shooters that I am the one who plays them mostly melee. Which you aren't really supposed to do in most. In any case, I picked up the first game. It looks amazing.

Now if I could only beat the first act.

Because of my pride, I refuse to play it on anything but hardcore. I'm getting better, but damnit, I've never spent so much time DYING.

Well, except when I'm without my games. Then I die every day on the inside.

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Warcraft of Words

Since I can remember, I have never had a great computer for playing games. So, I missed out on PC games. Sure, I played it off like I didn't care, but on those boring grocery shopping nights, my mom would reward me with a magazine. When I graduated from Highlights, I started picking out gaming magazines, and every so often, PC specific 'zines.
I read through them enviously, while my friends playd the likes of Diablo, Descent, Grim Fandango, and the like. I would never admit to my friend, while salivatiously watching my friend play Monkey Island 3, that is was any better than "Just alright, but no Super Mario 64."

Now, at 23, I was given, so graciously, a machine of high enough specs to run enough games to keep me occupied...well, perhaps forever.

I've accured a modest library of games. Steam has mostly been my main conduit for game gathering, playing mainly the Source shooters. They changed my life, really.

But the one game that I keep coming back to without remorse (anymore) is a little game called World of Warcraft.

I say anymore, because since 2004, I've poo-pooed the WoW world. Looking at it, I was like, ehhhhh, it looks like a fantasy RPG, blehhhhh. And then the addiction rumors started up. As a gaming junkie, I'm always looking for a new habit (j/k). I've never come across many games (that weren't puzzle games) that I'd get addicted to.

When I got the PC, my roomate would come in every day and tell me to download the trial. So I did. It was like opening up Pandora's Box. A Pandora's Box of cake where all the cake flew out and into my mouth.

Addiction comes not just from the drug, but from the being around people on said stimulant. An MMORPG, by definition, is just that sort of addictiveness.

As I play, I'll give my full report when I get 2 characters close to lvl 60.

(Also, I'm Jalsbarr on the Vashj PVP server and Ulala on the Sisters of Elune RP server)

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Hello Brave New Words

Greetings and re-salutations.

After a long hiatus, I'm coming back to do some of my stuff. I've taken a lot of time for school and other things, and now, I've saved some money, and can now talk about XBox 360 and PC games! Now if I can figure out to earn more time to play them...

I'll be giving more updates later. For now...well, I gotta play some games!

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Hot Who Gente

The person you see before you is David Tennant. Now you may be asking yourself, "Why, Jacob, who is David Tennant?

WHO indeed?

No, I mean, indeed, he is Who.
Doctor Who.

If you ask anybody, even nerds and geeks, if they have ever seen an episode of Doctor Who, the answer you can expect is no. Unless they are over 35. That seems to warrant an abundance of yeses. But I would have been included in the noes, until now.

I saw a commercial for it on BBC America when I was catching my new favorite sketch comedy show, Little Britain. And there, just staring at me through the TV set, was David Tennant. The most beautiful man I'd ever lain eyes on. So obviously I watched the show. I was sold.
And guess what...it's not bad. In fact, it's good! Except for the really crappy CGI. It looks too fake. I'd prefer some rubber suits, honestly.


Also, another BBC sci-fi show I haven't checked out but I wanna see it after hearing about the character, Torchwood. The character in question, Jack Harkness (played by John Barrowman), is an ex con man.
Interested yet? Neither am I.

No, what makes him worth it, is the fact that in the commercial for it, he was KISSING A MAN.
After a little research, this character is FROM Doctor Who, and is openly bisexual. So it was a REAL kiss, not a fake one! AND he's hot, too.

But he's no David Tennant.

*sighhhhhh*

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