Speed 3 -or- The Day I Saved A Bus From A Frog

My absolutely completely fanasmagorical dream is to be a superhero. But there are daily heroisms that I like to practice. For example:

I was riding the M9 bus to the L form work. I'm sitting there listening to the iPod, when suddenly the bus comes to a screeching halt by a park in Chinatown. The bus door was opened, and the bus driver jumped out of his seat and ran to the back of the bus. My first thought is "Oh, there's someone with a gun at the door. Just how I always thought I'd go...on a bus in Chinatown." I take my headphones off to hear the bus driver spewing a garbled string of words which I made out to say "On...brakes...frog...AH!" Naturally, as most New Yorkers are, no one got up.
This looks like a job for Jake, boy wonder!
As I leap to action, I make my way to the front of the bus. As I near the point of action, I see what looks like a leaf on the brakes. I laughed (heartily) and said "Is this it?" and with disdain he told me "I KNOW what a frog looks like. Look under the brake lever!" As he points to it, I reach down to pull it up. Suddenly, the BIGGEST frog I've EVER seen in my whole entire life. I take it into my hand, and look it straight in the eyes, thinking "Boy, I sure feel like I've kissed a lot of you in my time in NYC, and still, no princes."
I set the frog down in the park, and went back to my mild mannered iPod listening of Macy Gray's "I Try" as the bus sped me away from the greatest frog I've ever seen...
Before it left my peripheral vision, though, I saw a rather shabby looking Chinese man walk up to where I put the frog. In a state of horror and disgust, I watched the China-man shift his eyes about, pick up the frog, and put it in a plastic sack and shuffle off.

From that moment, I vowed to never let a China-man steal away the ones I love.
Cause that happens so often.
Really.

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Mac & Cheese W/ Corn

What a wonderful dinner I had at my friend DJ's. He made authentic southern Mac & Cheese, and it was absolutely the best thing I've ever eaten, ever. And I had a whole bottle of wine before I ended up at Upright Citizens Brigade.

Now, my friend invited me to go. I LOVE going to Upright Citizens Brigade. Last year, I actually did a few shows there, which I LOVED. In Iowa I was a huge improver, and it just makes me mad that I don't do it more here, since I get so wrapped up in school stuff.
Anyway, my friend invited me to go cause he's in it. I had no idea what it was, but I was excited. Once I was sober enough to realize I was sitting in the UCB theater, the show started. Wow was I drunk.
The title of the show was "The Grossest Sketch Show Ever."
Oh my god. It was. So gross.
There were some cute gross sketches. Fake diahrrea with corn and peanuts in it. And nudity (I truly believe straight guys have smaller dicks from this show).
But I saw the GROSSEST thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Just to sum it up, the end of it consisted of a guy throwing up in a bucket, another stripping down, then dumping the vomit on his head, and then peeing on the other guy as he rubs vomit on his cock.

You're Gonna Carry That Weight.

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Fageekery

Perhaps the start of something quite wonderful, I went to my first Gay League meeting the other night.

The Gay League is a meeting of gay comic book lovers that meet every once in a while. They talk of fabulosity and Fantastic Four, theater and The Teen Titans, queers and Queen (*comma* Oliver that is, aka Green Arrow).
All in all, it's quite a wonderful time. But as is oft the case, gays can't keep their eyes and hands to themselves.
Now, this wasn't a bad looking group of guys, either. OBVIOUSLY the youngest (and prettiest...if you could only see my batting eyes), the age range wasn't that big. The average was 30, and cute guys indeed. Very interesting guys. I found myself occupied by this strange and wonderful new expereince, but found a few guys attractive. But the one guy that found me MOST attractive was of course the one that comes from the land of "no blondes," the Asian.

Not that I have anything against them, really. But one bad date (well, one bad drop of the pants, leading to support of a CERTAIN stereotype) and other weird experiences at seedy clubs have led me to take caution when crossing the path of the Rising Sun type.
It's kind of like "The Trouble With Tribbles." Asians, like Tribbles, can be so darn cute, but they will latch onto you and eat you away. (I heard they eat flesh somewhere, I think)
But it is just caution I use....I don't count them out TOTALLY. Although, my jealousy of the ease that their bodies become ripped still causes me to grind my teeth (as I pack down my donuts).

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Fire Island: Neither On Fire Or An Island...

Wait...it IS an island....and there ARE flamers....

Anyway, more about that soon. First, I want to say, yes that IS me in some of those new party pictures on DList. Although, in one of them, I look very dorky and alone in the middle of....something. I just have to say that I was actually trying to decide which ones to join first. ;-)
Just check 'em out and you'll see.

So I went to Fire Island this weekend for the first time. Wow, it was amazing. AMAZING.
I mean, it could have been terrible, but the accomadations and the weather and the new experience. It was all just right!
I relish outsite enviroments where I can freely go rollicking about. Especially in a debaucherous way.

One particularly jaunting moment was while I was being taken on my tour of the Meat Rack. I love outdoors sex so it seemed like my place to be. The whole time we'd see people splattered about here and there, but the entire time I felt like we were walking through the forest animal watching. We'd hear rustling, and then we'd stop and get really quiet as not to scare them away from their natural habit(at)s. I was almost tempted to put out a salt lick...along with margarita mix.

I guess it would be effective in putting out a BEAR trap, too! (I think BARE would also have worked, but the double meaning of bear is pretty funny to me.)

Most of the time I was there, though, I was thinking how GREAT a setting it would be for a ghost horror movie/game (Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly seemed to come into mind a LOT while walking around the boardwalks...especially seeing the bamboo!)

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Mac Prose

The new Mac Pros (eh, eh...get the title???...ah never mind) came out. And thanks to student loans, I'm going to get one! Hurrah! Who cares about debt, as long as my computer is kick ass?! Besides, that's 3 years from now, why worry?!

Ah, I live in a fantasy world. Of constant horniness and erections. Speaking of....



Since I wanted to finish this I'm gonna! These are the 2 books to read! Have to! DO IT!

2). Civil War Marvel's metaphor for the ever present rift between the blue states and red states, Civil War is a look at what happens when hero fights hero, brother fights brother, and the whites decide to free the slaves....errr....
As I said with Spider-Man before, the conflict begins with a tragic event (a chunk of Stamford, Conn. gets blown up...so tragic), which happens because of a group of brash, young, stupid heroes, and leads to the deaths of thousands, including theirs. The people cry out and the government decides to step in and proposes a new bill called the Superhero Registration Act, which passes easily. This brings the 3 major players in; Iron Man, who supports the act out of guilt for funding the young group; Captain America, the symbol of America, who OPPOSES the act and fights for the civil liberties of the heroes; and Spider-Man, who is caught up in the middle of everything, and who's choices will seem to turn the tide for who comes out on top. Speaking of tide, there have been recent events that have come up that will affect things even more....tide...heheh

1). 52 Taking place in a new world post-Infinite Crisis (since you can no longer just say THE crisis: see Crisis On Infinite Earths, circa the mid '80s), we see the world through a group of 2nd and 3rd teir heroes (and villains) trying to clean up their towns without Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman. The thing about these 6 characters, though, is that they have some of the most interesting stories to tell: Steel, with his rebel neice and their new found powers, courtesy of Lex Luthor; Booster Gold, with his bastardization and selling out of superheroism in Metropolis; The tragic story of the now-powerless Elongated Man trying to figure out why his dead wife's things have been vandalized; Black Adam, trying to rule his country, stop terrorism, and learn to love and be a good guy again; and the ones that have people buzzing the most - The Question and Renee Montoya, trying to keep an international gang (Intergang...original, no?) out of Gotham. But it looks like they have a little help....from Batwoman. The lezzy of the news herself, she has made her appearance, and it was big.
All of this is going to affect the course of the DCU. We already exist One Year Later, but the 52 weeks we see people who really put the pieces together.

But don't take my word for it!

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Jake And The Fate Man

DListers: Great party, no? Glad to finally meet a lot of the peeps there. It sucked that I had to leave so abruptly, but it was getting TOO late.


I love making new friends. I love being me. Geeky, gay, scandalous me. And I like friends of the sort. Well, if I ever meet someone enough like me, they'll probably be my love forever. But for now, friends who share similar aspects dominate a lot of my *heart*
Back in Iowa, all of my best friends were straight guys, along with a few girls. Since I moved here, I've made mainly gay friends. It's great and all, but there's this whole thing with me being a sexual deviant. So sex always comes into play at SOME point. Since I started college here, things have been following the same suit as in Iowa, finally. I've never really just randomly met and made friends with a straight guy outside of school, though.
But maybe tonight I did.
On the train, just playing Ouedan. The guy across from me typing on his computer, very dorky looking, not that attractive, but i loved his shirt. He saw me playing, named the game and we were talking the rest of the ride, and he even lives close to me. Gave me his phone number even. Can a straight guy give you his number on a train ride??? Should I be suspicous?
I have a feeling I'll be hanging out with him a lot, in a strange way.


Back to comics:

3). Batman With Batman going off to find himself (with Robin and Nightwing.....mmmm...I'd love to find MYSELF with all of them {and you know they were fucking}), he's come back a new man...bat....hero. Gone is the paranoid, untrusting Batman. Now we have the father figure; soft, but ready to dish out the punishment that has to be dealt, and harshly if need be. After his first battle being back in Gotham, he's now been picked up by writer Grant Morrison (of ALL sorts of fame), and he's off trying to remember how to be Bruce Wayne (and apparently remember how to be straight). The run is called "Batman And Son," and the last issue saw Batman OFFICIALLY adopting Tim Drake as his son. But this Grant Morrison issue isn't about that relationship, as something lurks in the shadows of Batman's past, and has found him. And NINJA MANBATS! Gotta check it out! The first issue was kinda meh, but it's going to be a very strange, but awesome run!

Two to go....

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Excelsior Means DC is For Douchebags!

....not my opinion. That's according to Stan Lee....or rather "The Stan Lee Experience" (You'll see how much I love DC)

I suffer the cliche` nerd problem (among other cliches) of having asthma. Now, my sports induced asthma I've grown out off since I was in wrestling (THIS IS A TRUE STATEMENT, DAMNIT), but every once in a while I'll be struck unaware by an attack, as was the case today. It was this heat, because, as they say, it's too damn hot.
Later, I learned that on the news there was a warning that the air was dangerously hot and stagnant and it wasn't recommended for nerds.....I mean, those with asthma, to go outside. But I need my fix of comics and videogames, damnit.

Speaking of comics, I haven't spoke much of them, as I mostly love my videogames more (I'm STILL playing Ouedan! even after beating it, although I am on the "insane" mode of it, where you play as girl cheerleaders, and I'm less excited about that).
Here is my list of the comics that, if you are interested, you should be keeping up on:

5). Eternals; This series has just kicked off and is only 6 issues long, so it's still easy to get into. The story takes off in the Marvel universe where Jack Kirby's original left off, about a handful of beings, the Eternals, who live forever and battle an evil, other eternal race, but apparently have lost their memory. The main reason you should read this series is because of it's writer, NEIL GAIMAN, of Sandman fame (which, if you haven't read, you should either read now, or kill yourself. Everyone should read this series, as it is a work of ART).

4). The Amazing Spider-Man Peter Parker has finally revealed himself as Spider-Man in the series Civil War, which will not only change the course of his life as he knows it, but that of the entire Marvel universe. Best at keeping his identiity most secret, he's trying to get other supers to fall into line and register with the government under the Superhero Registration Act. But he's done more than that. He's done the one thing in the world he wanted to do LAST: put his loved ones in danger. Now his entire rouges gallery knows who he, Mary Jane, and Aunt May are, and what effect this will have on the rest of his life will make for more interesting writing. The tragic part of it is he's regretting his actions more and more, and as Civil War draws to a close, Spider-Man is the center of the crisis and causes for some of the best Spider-Man writing in some time now. Now if he can lose that TACKY suit......

More later, true believers.....

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